Lots of emotions!

"I hope they call me on a mission, When I have grown a foot or two,
I hope by then I will be ready to teach and preach and work as missionary's do"

Well I have grown a foot or two and I'm ready to teach and preach in Spanish to the people of Houston Texas.

I have very mixed emotions about everything. I feel a mixture of nervousness, excitedness, sadness, happiness, excitedness, nervousness, sadness, happiness. It is this round emotions that I have had ever since I have gotten my call. I can be way excited about it one minute and then way sad the next. The feelings of sadness and nervousness are not because I don't want to go I really do. It is just that I'm leaving a part of my life behind. I have decided the best way to describe what I'm feel is to compare it to finishing a book in a series. As you finish the book you are sad to end the book but you are excited for the next book.

I'm sad because I'm leaving work, (I know kind of weird to say but I have worked there for 2 1/2 years). I have made many friends there; friends that I hope last for a long time. One such friend has also become a roommate and someone I can talk to about anything.

I'm sad because I'm moving out from my apartment I'm leaving some very great friends. I know that I will still be friends with them. But even so some of them could be married when I get home; everyone will be off doing other things. That is great but it is still hard leave them.
I will be leaving my family for longer than I will ever have before. This is hard, I know I can do it but that won't make it easier.
I'm putting my education on hold for a 1 1/2 years. It is funny, if i would have stayed with my original major I would have been a new graduate right now. But I have decided once again to postpone my education for yet another year and a half. I'm mostly nervous because I don't want to forget everything I have learned..... But I know the Lord will bless me in this area.
I'm nervous because I know that a mission is one of the hardest things that you can do in your life. A mission may be one of the best times in your life but that is because it is one of the hardest times in your life. You have to learn to rely on the Lord with all of your soul... and that can be hard especially for someone like me who likes to plan everything that she is going to do.

But I'm excited also.... I'm excited that for a year and a half I will be under the Lord's guidance. That I will be doing his work and helping him achieve his purpose. I will be teaching my Brothers and Sisters in Houston all about what I believe. All about our Heavenly Father and his plan of Happiness. A beautiful plan that is individual and yet all encompassing.
I'm excited because I get to learn spanish and this will help me in my schooling.
I'm happy because I know that what I'm doing is right, I know that I am supposed to be going to Houston. I feel so much at peace when I think about all that I will be doing down there.

I really am happy and excited!!! It is just hard to see a part of my life end. But it always is... I've done it before and I will do it again. Such is the rounds of life.

well obviously i'm not better yet

Today: I'm grateful for a beautiful sunset that lit up the sky. It was beautiful. I was grateful that although work was busy there was a small moment when I could look up in the sky and see the colors all mixing to become a beautiful smear of light. I couldn't help but call all my co-workers over to look at this sight. It made me think that surely God exists because something that beautiful couldn't "just happen". I also wished that I had a camera so I could capture this moment and keep it forever.



Yesterday:

I was grateful for a professor that understands and help me see that I really understood the subject better than my test score said I did. It was also a relief to find out that my grade in the class will still be about what I thought it was going to be before I took the test. That is something I'm very grateful for.



Wednesday:
I was grateful for getting out of class early so I was able to work on some homework, also so I could have sometime before going to a performance for the night. I'm grateful that the performance wasn't very long and it was also entertaining. I thought it was good.

Catch up

Saturday: I was grateful for guardian angels that sit with you through a scary drive through the canyon. One imparticular that I know was there watching to make sure I was okay and that I stayed alert. It was fitting that as I came through the canyon I found that on the other side of the valley there was a part in the clouds with sun shining through, it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. I'm grateful for the help of all the angels in my life both living and not.

Sunday: The growth of a boy to a man. This day I went from seeing a boy that I once knew to see a glimpse of the man he is going to become. It was neat as I watched this young man bear his testimony of prayer and of having good friends. I was very impressed with how far he has come since high school.

Monday: I am grateful for children and the excitment in the classroom and the example of a little girl asking her friend for forgiveness for something that she said. It was something that
taught me that we can always ask for forgiveness no matter how bad the stuff we did.

Today: It has been very hard for me to be grateful today; I failed a math test, the worst I've ever done in school. I dont really know how I feel about this. I guess I'm grateful today for physical therapists that know what they are doing and can help you fix a knee that has been killing you for a month or more. I was grateful that they gave me things to do to fix it. I'm grateful for all the help of supportive friends. I am grateful that I learned a lesson about studying and that I need to put more of an effort towards school.

Today:
I'm grateful for the sun. It has been a nice day outside today and I'm grateful for the shining sun. It is supposed to snow tomorrow and it did snow yesterday so I'm so grateful that it did not snow today and that I could walk home in the nice weather. YES it was kinda cold but I could deal with that as long as there wasn't lots of slush and wet stuff we call snow. I love the sun especially in the fall and the spring. I love sunsets and sunrises. I love the way the sun glistens of the snow in the winter and off the lakes in the summer. I love the freckles that the sun gives my nose and cheeks. I am very grateful that I could feel the sun.

Yesterday:
I missed doing this yesterday but yesterday I was grateful for great friends who will pick you up from school when it is snowing so that you don't have to walk home while it is freezing and there is slush all in your face. Also for good friends who bring you your keys at work because you forgot to grab them before you left. I love them so much!!!

Temple

I am grateful for the chance I get to go to the temple. I have been trying really hard to get there pretty often this year. I havent gone as much as I have wanted but I probably have gone at least once a month for the past five months and some months I have gone more than that. I am grateful for the peace I feel there and the chance I get to go often. I am grateful that the temple is only streets away from my house. I am also grateful because soon I will get to go through the temple and that is very exciting to me. The temple is such a fantastic place and I get to go this afternoon so I am very excited. Temples are amazing.

Sense of Smell

Today I am grateful for the the ability to smell. Some people who I know me will laugh at this because they know I like some abnormal smells. Such as I like the smell of rubber, like rubber tires. This is the smell that you smell near the bike section of a store. Also I like the smell of gas, grass cuttings, and coffee. But not fresh brewed coffee, I like the more stale smell of coffee, the smell that you get when you are in a book store, or the smell in the USU library. Also I like the smell of the AC in cars, this is like a musty smell and it is one of my favorite smells. I know weird huh. I like the smell of fresh painted rooms, and the smell of new carpet. I like the smell of leaves, and the smell of fresh snow (yes this does have a smell). I like the smell of new books and the smell of fresh laundry. So because I like so many smells I have decided that I'm very grateful for the sense of smell. It is a great thing to have.

clean laundry

I love it when I have just done laundry and then all of my clothes are clean. I'm grateful when I get to do it for free at my house. One of my favorite smells in the world is the smell of laundry soap and the feel of soft clothes. I am so grateful that I can do it in a washing machine and that I don't have to go wash it in the river or somewhere outside. I'm grateful that I can also have as many clothes as I do. Having all your clothes clean is so awesome because you can finally wear your same favorite shirt agian. You can wear your favorite pair of sweats or you can dress up in your favorite pair of jeans!!! I love it!!!