Changing Year

Can you believe it has been years since I have written but hear I am and I think it is time I start writing again. 
This last year has been one of the most stressful in my life. All teachers say that the first year they teach is the hardest. I sure hope this is true because it was extremely hard. Between a title one school, students with attitude of teenagers, and a non-supportive staff, this year has been very rough. That being said next year I get to teach at a school I have always dreamed about teaching in, in a great grade, Silver Mesa Elementary third grade. It will still be a struggle but I think it will be a better year. 

A couple of weeks a go I bought a new car. It was dad's old work car, a Chevy blazer. I got a good deal with it and finally have my own wheels. 
 My life is exiting and changing and it just feels right. I'm so excited by it all. 

Hey! So we are officially two weeks into summer and I am loving it! I have to say that I haven't really done anything very fun. Well except for today we had some fun. We went to the farmers market here in Logan and it was great fun to look at all the different booths. I am excited to go to it in a couple of weeks and get some things. We got lemonade today and it was very good. It was strawberry Lemonade and it was very delicious! I am excited to go to the farmers market regularly this summer. I am excited for the demolition derby and rodeos that will happen this summer. It will definitely be one to remember. My last summer as and undergrad. It will be the best!

School is out!

"School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces

No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks"

 "And fellas, I know you're ready to rock
We went crazy cooped all winter long
And school is out, so let's get it on
Flip flop tans and some white sand
I know the perfect spot

Well the sunset better set soon
So we can get in the mood
Things start getting all heated up
When it starts getting cool, yeah

Summer nights
Everybody, are you with me?
Let that igloo cooler mark your piece of paradise
Summer nights
Everybody's feeling sexy
Holler if you're ready for some summer nights
Come on."

"No more algebra tests 'til September
No more lookin' at losers like him
No more more havin' to cheat
No more mystery meat
No more gym
No more gym
No more gym
No more gym!...

 After today my brains will be snoozin'!
If I don't faint I'll be fine!
I've got forty more minutes, of home economics
Then down with the text books
And up with the comics!"

Schools out until September and I am so excited for this summer! I am again living up in Logan for the summer and I am hoping to have a lot of fun doing whatever I want. I have a job at Opionology and I am excited about that! I hope to make a lot of friends and just have fun with everyone around me! 

Mostly I am just excited for the the no homework and doing what I want! I it is going to be a blast! I love summer it will always be the best! LIFE IS AWESOME!!!!

The stress of a semester

So the end of a semester is fast approaching and I have so much I need to do. By next Tuesday I will mostly be done with school but I am stressing because I have so many things to do before then. Yet here I am blogging and on top of that I am watching Star Wars Episode VI (the best episode ever). This week has been so stressful because on top of this I have to try and find a job. I just want Tuesday to finish up quickly then I will have a couple of few small assignments before the end of the semester. The nice thing about this being the plan is I only have one final one in first aid. On Monday of finals week I definitely be done with school for the semester.
A year from now I will be graduating (finally after 19 years of school I will be done). I am so excited for that to happen and then I will have my own classroom and be a teacher.
I am also stressed because I feel like I need to expand my horizons and find new things to do. I want to someday go surfing, sky diving, rock climbing etc. Soon I will be training for a 1/2 marathon and that will be a lot of work but very rewarding!

What to do when you like a boy?!

How in the world do you show a boy that you like him? I would really like an answer. If you read this and know an answer please post! Since junior high I have been struggling with showing emotions towards boys. I suppress all feelings because I am afraid that I will be rejected. I have lost many opportunities with boys because I am so stupid that I can't let my emotions show. It comes down to the fact that I really have issues with letting myself be vulnerable. I don't like to let my guard down. I am sure that if I do I will end up hurt. So instead I decide to hide it all because it is easier than being rejected. So I sit here hiding behind a mask, hoping for something that will never be because I don't know how to show it.
So what do I do? How do I get over this complex that I have?
How do I have the courage to show him I like him?

Houston my home away from home!

I just got back from Houston for a visit and it was so much fun! I went for Nathalie's Wedding and Sealing in the temple! It was amazing to see her so happy. The reception was so much fun too!!! It was a Hispanic wedding so it was so much fun!!! It had dancing, food, dancing, laughter, and did I mention dancing!!! I stayed with her family and they are amazing I am so grateful for them and that they hosted me all weekend. I love them so much! the Hispanic people are amazing, they are so charitable and giving! I want to be like them in that aspect! I want to be able to give all I have to other people! I should work on that and make it my new goal.
I had a lot of good things happen while I was in TEXAS!!! I had the wedding! I got to watch most of conference in Spanish! I got to visit some awesome people! and I got to visit with my mission president again. He even committed me to accomplish something in the next week! I don't know if I will be able to do it (it involves a boy) but we will see.
I am so glad that I was able to go on this trip, in reality I needed to get away from Utah for a little bit and realize that there is more happening in the world than what goes on in dear Cache Valley!

A way to get release!

Hey so I am back on my blog finally after six months. So tomorrow for the first time since getting back I get to visit my mission! Needless to say I am so excited! It will be good to get away from Utah for a while. This last weekend has been kind of stressful as I have had a lot of interesting things happen. Mostly I had to tell a boy that I just wanted to be friends. I have never done this before and find myself never wanting to do it again. I like being his friend but nothing really more than that. He is a great guy and someday will make someone a great husband. Just not me and not right now.
On the bright side I found a TV show that I am absolutely in love with. If you have not seen Once Upon a Time you should really look into it. It is made by the same people who made Lost. So it is all kinds of intense! I absolutely LOVED Lost but I love ONCE UPON A TIME even more. This show was something that I really needed this weekend. I needed to get away from life and go into a reality place. Thank you Once Upon a time for helping me with this!
Right now I am not sure what else I want to post about but I'm sure I will post again soon!!!
Sooner than 2 years I am sure!

See you in a year and a half

I am off for a year and a half of learning
a year and a half of loving
a year and a half of striving
a year and a half of hoping
a year and a half of finding
of praying
of changing
a year and a half of my life to serve the Lord and teach my brothers and sisters.

I hope you make it a great year and a half and I will see you later!!!

Love,
Me

One Week

I have one week left, actually less than a week and I'm feel like I'm just going through the motions, it really doesn't feel real. I can't believe that it has been two months since I got my call. I have been packing my bags, it is crazy how much you can fit in three bags if you just pack right. I have started to say goodbye to a number of people. My roommates came down last week and we had dinner and then they said goodbye. It made me sad but like I said earlier it doesn't feel real yet I still feel like I have a trip to make up to logan or something. When I seriously think about it I am very nervous about everything. From entering the unknown, to speaking another language, going to the MTC, going to Texas, leaving my family, wandering around a city that I don't know (without mountains to help navigate), did I mention doing the hardest thing in my life. It all makes me really nervous but I'm also very excited; to be that close to the Lord and his Spirit. It will be such a special time!!! I hopefully will blog one more time before I go but we will have to see!!

count down

I don't really know what to write but I feel like I should because I only have 3 weeks to go until I am a missionary... It is very crazy to me... and I feel no where near ready. I have been spending lots of time with family because I will miss them lots while I am gone. Right now Justin and I have been playing a game of monopoly for quite a few days. he has to do homework and stuff but as soon as that is done we play the game. We are not quite sure who is winning because I have a lot of expensive property but he has more money.... I think it will still be a long game yet. I love spending this time with him because he is going to grow up lots while I am gone... I am pretty sure he is going to start his growth spurt... he could be taller than I when I get back. I also should be working on a talk right now but for some reason can't figure out what exactly I am supposed to be talking about... I sit down to do it and I am just stumped and can't come up with anything. I'm excited to go out but very nervous... I think I realized how nervous I was last week. My cousin went into the MTC last week and it made me realize how close it was to when I go in. My aunt was telling me about dropping him off and it finally struck me that I'm leaving and I'm leaving for a year and a half when I can't see my family... this is going to be HARD but I'm sure I can do it. I know the Lord wants me too, and I know I will grow.

Also I have a new goal. I'm in the middle of the Book of Mormon and I have a goal to read it hopefully by the end of the week.... i'm having some marathon days that hopefully will help. As for a temple update I have to still go to Oqquirh, Logan, Ogden, and St. George but by this time next week I will have been to all of those temples..... I feel very lucky that I live in a place where so many temples are avaliable to me.

Anyway this blog didn't really say that much but it is kind of what is happening in my life.

Goal before the mission

I have a goal to go to every temple in utah except for Vernal and Monticello. That is 11 temples folks!!! 11 of them. I have already visited three; Draper, Manti, and Salt Lake. Hopefully I will visit both the Jordan River and Bountiful this week. It is a goal to also keep me going to the temple as often as I can. I love going to the temple because I love pondering about the plan and what certain symbols mean, I also love feeling the Lords spirit. I love it so very much.

The hardest thing about this goal is that a lot of the temples close for two weeks during this time of year. This means that I'm going to have to do a lot of planning to make sure that I can get to all of them before I leave. But I'm determined to do it so hopefully I will be able to. Where there is a will there is a way, right?

Also I have a new discovery concerning temples; Manti temple is one of my absolute favorites.... I think I might even like it more than the Salt Lake temple. It is just beautiful inside and out. I love it lots!!! I visited it for the first time last friday and have found myself hoping to get back to it anytime possible. I absolutely loved it.

adjusting to life at home

I am moved in at home, the holidays are over, and my siblings are back in school. I remember that school starts up at USU on monday and that I will not be up there with my fellow classmates. I'm sad that i'm not up there; I miss them. But all in all i'm adjusting nicely. My bed is still on cinder blocks (more storage space I guess). I am helping clean out closets in my house that haven't been touched in more than 4 years! I have read 2 books in 2 days. I might be giving two farewell talks, one in my home ward and one possibly in my student ward (roommates I hope you will come to both). I went through the temple last week (actually a week ago today) and I want to go to as many temples in utah as I can.
I feel like there is tons to do before I go on my mission and there is only 43 days until I enter the mtc. I'm excited to go and teach the people but I'm nervous to speak spanish. I am also nervous to be leaving home for that long. but it will be good!!!!

Lots of emotions!

"I hope they call me on a mission, When I have grown a foot or two,
I hope by then I will be ready to teach and preach and work as missionary's do"

Well I have grown a foot or two and I'm ready to teach and preach in Spanish to the people of Houston Texas.

I have very mixed emotions about everything. I feel a mixture of nervousness, excitedness, sadness, happiness, excitedness, nervousness, sadness, happiness. It is this round emotions that I have had ever since I have gotten my call. I can be way excited about it one minute and then way sad the next. The feelings of sadness and nervousness are not because I don't want to go I really do. It is just that I'm leaving a part of my life behind. I have decided the best way to describe what I'm feel is to compare it to finishing a book in a series. As you finish the book you are sad to end the book but you are excited for the next book.

I'm sad because I'm leaving work, (I know kind of weird to say but I have worked there for 2 1/2 years). I have made many friends there; friends that I hope last for a long time. One such friend has also become a roommate and someone I can talk to about anything.

I'm sad because I'm moving out from my apartment I'm leaving some very great friends. I know that I will still be friends with them. But even so some of them could be married when I get home; everyone will be off doing other things. That is great but it is still hard leave them.
I will be leaving my family for longer than I will ever have before. This is hard, I know I can do it but that won't make it easier.
I'm putting my education on hold for a 1 1/2 years. It is funny, if i would have stayed with my original major I would have been a new graduate right now. But I have decided once again to postpone my education for yet another year and a half. I'm mostly nervous because I don't want to forget everything I have learned..... But I know the Lord will bless me in this area.
I'm nervous because I know that a mission is one of the hardest things that you can do in your life. A mission may be one of the best times in your life but that is because it is one of the hardest times in your life. You have to learn to rely on the Lord with all of your soul... and that can be hard especially for someone like me who likes to plan everything that she is going to do.

But I'm excited also.... I'm excited that for a year and a half I will be under the Lord's guidance. That I will be doing his work and helping him achieve his purpose. I will be teaching my Brothers and Sisters in Houston all about what I believe. All about our Heavenly Father and his plan of Happiness. A beautiful plan that is individual and yet all encompassing.
I'm excited because I get to learn spanish and this will help me in my schooling.
I'm happy because I know that what I'm doing is right, I know that I am supposed to be going to Houston. I feel so much at peace when I think about all that I will be doing down there.

I really am happy and excited!!! It is just hard to see a part of my life end. But it always is... I've done it before and I will do it again. Such is the rounds of life.

well obviously i'm not better yet

Today: I'm grateful for a beautiful sunset that lit up the sky. It was beautiful. I was grateful that although work was busy there was a small moment when I could look up in the sky and see the colors all mixing to become a beautiful smear of light. I couldn't help but call all my co-workers over to look at this sight. It made me think that surely God exists because something that beautiful couldn't "just happen". I also wished that I had a camera so I could capture this moment and keep it forever.



Yesterday:

I was grateful for a professor that understands and help me see that I really understood the subject better than my test score said I did. It was also a relief to find out that my grade in the class will still be about what I thought it was going to be before I took the test. That is something I'm very grateful for.



Wednesday:
I was grateful for getting out of class early so I was able to work on some homework, also so I could have sometime before going to a performance for the night. I'm grateful that the performance wasn't very long and it was also entertaining. I thought it was good.

Catch up

Saturday: I was grateful for guardian angels that sit with you through a scary drive through the canyon. One imparticular that I know was there watching to make sure I was okay and that I stayed alert. It was fitting that as I came through the canyon I found that on the other side of the valley there was a part in the clouds with sun shining through, it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. I'm grateful for the help of all the angels in my life both living and not.

Sunday: The growth of a boy to a man. This day I went from seeing a boy that I once knew to see a glimpse of the man he is going to become. It was neat as I watched this young man bear his testimony of prayer and of having good friends. I was very impressed with how far he has come since high school.

Monday: I am grateful for children and the excitment in the classroom and the example of a little girl asking her friend for forgiveness for something that she said. It was something that
taught me that we can always ask for forgiveness no matter how bad the stuff we did.

Today: It has been very hard for me to be grateful today; I failed a math test, the worst I've ever done in school. I dont really know how I feel about this. I guess I'm grateful today for physical therapists that know what they are doing and can help you fix a knee that has been killing you for a month or more. I was grateful that they gave me things to do to fix it. I'm grateful for all the help of supportive friends. I am grateful that I learned a lesson about studying and that I need to put more of an effort towards school.

Today:
I'm grateful for the sun. It has been a nice day outside today and I'm grateful for the shining sun. It is supposed to snow tomorrow and it did snow yesterday so I'm so grateful that it did not snow today and that I could walk home in the nice weather. YES it was kinda cold but I could deal with that as long as there wasn't lots of slush and wet stuff we call snow. I love the sun especially in the fall and the spring. I love sunsets and sunrises. I love the way the sun glistens of the snow in the winter and off the lakes in the summer. I love the freckles that the sun gives my nose and cheeks. I am very grateful that I could feel the sun.

Yesterday:
I missed doing this yesterday but yesterday I was grateful for great friends who will pick you up from school when it is snowing so that you don't have to walk home while it is freezing and there is slush all in your face. Also for good friends who bring you your keys at work because you forgot to grab them before you left. I love them so much!!!

Temple

I am grateful for the chance I get to go to the temple. I have been trying really hard to get there pretty often this year. I havent gone as much as I have wanted but I probably have gone at least once a month for the past five months and some months I have gone more than that. I am grateful for the peace I feel there and the chance I get to go often. I am grateful that the temple is only streets away from my house. I am also grateful because soon I will get to go through the temple and that is very exciting to me. The temple is such a fantastic place and I get to go this afternoon so I am very excited. Temples are amazing.

Sense of Smell

Today I am grateful for the the ability to smell. Some people who I know me will laugh at this because they know I like some abnormal smells. Such as I like the smell of rubber, like rubber tires. This is the smell that you smell near the bike section of a store. Also I like the smell of gas, grass cuttings, and coffee. But not fresh brewed coffee, I like the more stale smell of coffee, the smell that you get when you are in a book store, or the smell in the USU library. Also I like the smell of the AC in cars, this is like a musty smell and it is one of my favorite smells. I know weird huh. I like the smell of fresh painted rooms, and the smell of new carpet. I like the smell of leaves, and the smell of fresh snow (yes this does have a smell). I like the smell of new books and the smell of fresh laundry. So because I like so many smells I have decided that I'm very grateful for the sense of smell. It is a great thing to have.

clean laundry

I love it when I have just done laundry and then all of my clothes are clean. I'm grateful when I get to do it for free at my house. One of my favorite smells in the world is the smell of laundry soap and the feel of soft clothes. I am so grateful that I can do it in a washing machine and that I don't have to go wash it in the river or somewhere outside. I'm grateful that I can also have as many clothes as I do. Having all your clothes clean is so awesome because you can finally wear your same favorite shirt agian. You can wear your favorite pair of sweats or you can dress up in your favorite pair of jeans!!! I love it!!!

prayer

Lately I have been so grateful for prayer. I havent been great at doing it lately but I do believe that it works. I know that someone is listening to me and he cares deeply about how I feel. He understands me and wants what is very best for me. I love that there is a way for us to talk to Him and for Him to communicate with me. Even though I am struggling with some of my answers I know that he will answer I just need to put it in His hands. I'm grateful for the help that prayer can bring and the comfort I feel when I do pray.